Abortion

It’s a bit of an uncomfortable subject but I see God using it in some pretty strategic ways. Let me go ahead and without beating around the bush just say it out loud. Close calls with abortion.

God has intervened in three major ways in my life with this frightening option of abortion. The first was when my Mother found out she was pregnant with me. She and my Dad already had a 12 year old and a 10 year old and to find out she was pregnant was more than a shock. She tells me that she went to her OBGYN who said, “Oh Sue, it’s okay, we can do a little procedure called a D&C and take care of that for you.” She left thinking about that option and it sounded good. He had made it sound so simple and like people do it every day. It was no big deal. Just a procedure. That’s all. Something inside her never felt right about it and she decided to talk to her pastor about it. He started asking her questions like, “Why would you not want this baby?” Mom explained to me that she answered his questions with comments like, “I just want to be there to help my husband with his business. I wasn’t prepared for this. I…..”  She said all the “I’s” suddenly sounded loud and she heard the selfishness inside her reasoning.  She knew as a Christian she could not rightfully abort her baby and she felt overwhelmed for even considering it. And she purposed in her heart from that moment that I belonged to God and however he wanted to use me she would support and encourage that. She has always reminded me of that and encouraged me to listen and follow God’s leading even when it called me far from my family like the summer I spent in Quito and then in London and now moving to a state more than five hours from her. I look back and see how God preserved my life for a purpose. And that purpose is still unfolding.

The second thing that comes to my mind when I think of abortion is with our son. Please let me say that if you are reading this and you know our family PLEASE use discretion in sharing these details with your children/teens. I have prayed about this post for a long time and have begged God for wisdom in the timing of sharing this. Our son does not know and should not know these details right now. And when he does it needs to come from us.

After  several failed infertility attempts and then looking into adoption we were praying for our baby “out there” to be brought to us one day. We were praying for his/her protection along with three other specific requests regularly. After we adopted our son and later read a letter from his birthmother we realized the miracle of his birth. He was almost aborted. An appointment had been made for a secret abortion but God intervened.  God used his birth-grandmother in a powerful way to bring light into the situation. An ultrasound was done and tears streamed down his birthmother’s face as she saw all ten toes and fingers. She wept at the thought of what she almost did. Later in the letter she compared her love for her son to the love of God for Jesus. As she placed Mitchell in the car seat saying goodbye forever, her heart was breaking and she felt utter grief.  It made her think of what God felt when Jesus died on the cross. True love. God spared my son’s life for a purpose. And it’s still unfolding. 

And I can’t help but know he used the above two situations in a third divine encounter. I was at a home for women who were homeless and I met a woman who was three months pregnant and about to have an abortion. I knew this because the director had told me previously. A group of women from my church had been praying for God to change her heart and to save this baby inside her. We weren’t going to the shelter to discuss these things. We were just going to bring a meal and to visit with the women. This was our second time there. God arranged it in such a way that I would have some one-on-one time with this woman who was pregnant. He also had put on my heart to bring the letter that Mitchell’s birthmother had written about her close call with abortion. I had never shared it with anyone before and didn’t even like the idea of bringing it with me. And I bristled tremendously when I felt the Holy Spirit nudging me to read the letter to this woman….a perfect stranger to me. She was a hard, worn woman. Pain killers were her addiction. She had an eight year old daughter and the thought of starting over and coming off pain killers were more than she could handle. An abortion was what made most sense to her. I asked her how I could pray for her and she told me about what was going on with her pregnancy and how she wanted out of it. She was determined this was the best option for her. 

We were sitting at the kitchen table, just the two of us, and I put my purse up on the table while we continued talking. At the time I carried a cute black purse with pictures of Mitchell all over it. Crazy pictures and baby pictures and family pictures. The woman’s eyes went to my purse and she said, “That your kid?” I said, “Yep, it sure is.” She said, “He’s cute and looks just like you.” I said, “Well, that’s what I want to talk to you about.” I pulled out the letter and asked her if I could read it to her. She looked at me like I had three heads but agreed to listen. The letter was several pages long. It talked about how scared Mitchell’s birthmother was to find out she was pregnant. She shared her feelings and her thoughts about being a Christian and messing up. How her friends had just said it was “tissue” growing inside of her and abortion was fine. She described the events leading up to how God intervened and opened her eyes to what she was about to do. She told of how God led her to our potential adoptive parent profile after her decision to give life to her baby.

I was sweating bullets because how weird is it to share something THAT personal with a total stranger? This is why I say that the Holy Spirit calls us to do some strange things sometimes. I knew this was one of them. And I was growing more and more uncomfortable.  I was at the point of really hoping it was the Holy Spirit and not a bad burrito that made me do this. I got cold feet half way through and I stopped reading the letter. I figured she would never know the difference since I was the one reading it. But she looked at me and said, “Aren’t you going to finish?” I said, “Well, I thought it was getting long.” She said, “Please finish. I want to hear it.”

At the end of the letter I prayed to myself for the words to say next. I was scared to death and knew it had to be God to speak through me. I looked into the cold eyes of my new friend and said, “I just want to say one thing to you. You have a living child inside of you. God chose you to form a child of purpose inside of you and you do have an option to adopt. There are many awesome families who would take care of your baby and give him/her a great home.”  At that moment the rest of the group came in to get their food and our conversation was over. I left that night never knowing what went through that woman’s head or heart. She seemed receptive and slightly moved by the letter but nothing earth shattering really. No tears. No emotional “thank you”. Just a huge goodbye and that was it. But in my heart of hearts I knew I had done what the Holy Spirit whispered into my heart to do.

Three months later, we were finalizing our adoption (this was Sophie’s adoption which was a 6 hour notice and a complete surprise to us) with one last post placement appointment in our home and the caseworker mentioned a stop she had to make in a nearby town for an adoption plan. As soon as she said it my heart skipped a beat and out of my mouth rolled, “Is her name _________ by chance?” I was referring to the lady from the women’s shelter. She looked at me with sheer confusion and said, “How in the world did you know that?” She couldn’t tell me many details at all because of confidentiality but she did tell me that she made an adoption plan with their agency. I later followed up  on this and I now know that God intervened and saved a baby boy’s life. I can’t help but think He used my son’s birthmother and her experience in a near abortion attempt to save another child’s life. And he used the caseworker in our daughter’s adoption to allow us a glimpse into that answered prayer and miracle. My heart was beyond full and overflowing at what God had done. It still is.

These three experiences have done something to my heart and I’m not sure I can even put it into words yet. But I will say I have a heart for women who are considering abortion. And I have a heart for women who can’t have biological children. God has given me a glimpse into each world on a small scale and I have to wonder if God going is going to use it for his glory in some crazy kind of way. I kind of hope so. In the meantime, I praise God for his sovereignty.