A 50’s bride

My Mom said something last week that has stuck with me. She said, “Today’s woman doesn’t seem to enjoy and love being at home like years ago. Instead she appears to be a fast paced, busy, stressed woman on the go.” Gulp! She just described this daughter of hers! But the thing is this: I do love to be at home but I admit that I  struggle with managing the busy-ness of life at times. And during busy seasons of our family life you don’t see me at home on hands and knees scrubbing the floor while the quadruple layer cake bakes. I’m doing good to get my own underwear on, a lunch packed for Mitchell and brushed hair for Sophie. The thought of going around humming How great Thou Art while I iron pillow cases is more like a picture of what I grew up with and a pipe dream of my own. It was lovely to go to sleep on a freshly ironed pillow case and well, hearing Mom hum a hymn was probably more pleasing to my ear than hearing a huff, puff and sigh of frustration at how high the laundry pile was getting. So what’s the difference today? Is there really a difference between today’s woman/mom than women back in the day?  A godly woman in my church made the casual comment a few months back when her husband was very sick that, “I’m a 50’s bride so I cater and pamper  my husband….”  I will tell you plainly that I’m not much of a pamper-er.  My Mom was. And she also happens to be a 50’s bride. She washed my Dad’s hair for him for years; bought all his clothes and cooked for our family almost every night. She gloated over him and was still at the goo-goo-gah-gah in love phase when my Dad passed away five years ago.

I love my husband very much for so many different reasons and I feel very blessed to be able to stay at home with my children but you won’t exactly catch me washing his hair or cooking every single night….. and not with a grin of giddy glee like these 50’s chicks above.  And I guarantee if my man laid his head down on a starched pillow case he might go into a shock induced conniption fit.  I guess we all express our love in different ways depending on our nature and depending on how we grew up. But I want to listen to these older godly women in my life. I want to hear what they’re saying when they say things seem “different” in today’s woman. Of course they speak generally and not everyone fits the description of the modern, busy woman but I do see it all around me. I see it in me and in those around me. Hectic going and coming. Keeping up with the latest sport, bible study, church event, neighborhood gathering, latest cyber phenomenon and on the list goes. As you try to fit it all in something gets crowded out and sometimes it’s our men whom we love dearly. And they know we love them and they probably would be totally freaked out if we tried to wash their hair for them in the first place. But is there something we can learn from these precious older women who love their husbands enough to do what we might think is just not feasible in our day and age. I think so. So my ears are open this year and I’m desiring to learn how to be a better at- home mom and wife…..to develop more of the qualities of a 50’s wife and mother. To be sure I’m clear on this… I’m not saying “busy” is bad and that a certain era is “good”. I have a friend at our church who amazes me at what all she accomplishes in a week. She has her hands in many big projects and she does them all very well. You can count on this chick to do well what she has committed to do. I feel like some people are more wired to take on more tasks possibly?  Type A personalities can do a million things well and still be a great keeper of the home if it’s on their to-do-list. So I’m just still thinking all this stuff through. I do think our generation wife/mom can benefit greatly from going back a few decades to observe how things were done back then. My dream is to have some sort of ladies conference on having the qualities of a 50’s bride in the 21st century.  How cool would it be for the 50’s brides to connect with the 21st century brides and talk about things such as balancing home life with work, church and a social life. The temptation is to say we just can’t relate to them nor them to us. We can’t relate to milking the cow and chasing the chicken to ring it’s neck to cook for dinner. And they can’t relate to ringing cell phones, texting and working in corporate while pumping milk for your new born baby.  Yet the Bible (Titus 2) clearly tells these women to train the younger women. The command is not based on similarities or the ability to relate. In fact it clearly says the “older women” should train the “younger women”. God knew there would be vast differences when he put this mandate in the Bible. I’m not satisfied with dismissing the older generation’s thoughts because of the thought they can’t relate to our day and age even thought they live in it. You can live in it and totally not get it.  It’s interesting because the things that Titus tells the older women to teach the younger women are timeless. They aren’t outdated by any means. Take a quick look at it:

Titus 2:4-5
Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

And that’s a key to remember in all these rambling thoughts of mine because it has nothing to do with the year we were born or married in. But I’m still puzzled on what this mentoring actually looks like in a church community. My heart desires it desperately and I feel that the Lord will lead our women to find out what this looks like on a large scale. He prescribed it so I don’t think he will keep it hidden from us. I’ve been blessed to have older women train me all these years and now I desire to see it on a larger scale within the church as a whole. I just don’t know how to get there yet.

Okay, I have rambled too much…..

Check out one of my fresh starts to being an enjoyable stay-at-home domestic diva: (forcing my child to bake for me!)

Soph and I made a banana cake today. That Betty Crocker cookbook was my text book in college from my former Home Economic days. I laugh when I recall the classes I was in for my minor. My sewing instructor just shook her head at me half the time. I simply didn’t get it. Sewing just didn’t come naturally and honestly it didn’t even come forced. The shirt I made was so tight it cut off the circulation to my armpits causing numbness but I wore the dern thing cuz by golly I made it with my bare hands! Wish I had a picture of it. It really was hysterical.

 

What I love about this picture is that Sophie evidently felt like she had to dress up in order to ice the cake. We go from pj’s to a formal in a matter of an hour. I used to cringe when I knew a kid helped make the dessert I was about to eat. Because you just never know what’s on their fingers (and sometimes you do know) or if they resisted the urge to lick the spatula and keep on stirring. But now as a Mom those things don’t bother me anymore. And I try to keep a watchful eye out for my little one who just loves to help me cook and bake.

I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to bake a cake and not lick the beaters. Or at least unbiblical.

So what’s your take on the 50’s bride and the turn of the 21st century bride? Are they two different women? What tips do you have in managing your household amidst the craziness of today’s daily life? Please share and I’ll check back with you on how I’m doing. Good night for now…..I have to go clip my husband’s toe nails. haaa! I’m kidding.